I Can’t Even Right Now, Amy Schumer

My HBIT co-host is kind of an Amy Schumer fan. Like not huge. She’s not going to follow Schumer around on tour, but she liked Trainwreck and enjoyed the HBO special. Another great friend Emily – a hilarious, smart, badass feminist – has said she feels like she likes to laugh with Amy Schumer, but sometimes wishes she could censor her. I’m not sure what that means, but I think I agree with her.

So this week, I made it my job to watch Trainwreck and the Schumer special to get my own take. My wife and I got through the first 17 minutes of the special without a single laugh, so we turned it off. I figured I’d try it again on my own later. On Thursday, we rented Trainwreck on pay-per-view. I was annoyed by Schumer right off the bat – probably because of the bad taste left in my mouth after trying to watch the special – but I was determined to watch the movie in its entirety (I paid $5 for this shit). I finally finished the HBO special last night, and man – do I have some thoughts.

First of all, Amy Schumer is not fat. Not fat AT ALL. If you listened to her with a blindfold on you would think she was – at the very least – a plus-sized person. And – to be clear – there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a plus-sized person. In fact, she is an average sized person who – like every other woman on earth – deserves to love and accept her body and have her body be loved and accepted by the rest of us.

That being said, Schumer has made a decision to live her life on stage, in an industry where her body is a constant topic of conversation and critique. Let me throw in a small disclaimer here: That’s not cool, Hollywood. It’s not cool and it’s not okay that female comics have to live up to a sexist double standard. They have to be funny (perhaps, like female chefs, they actually have to be more funny). On top of that, they have to be sexy. Like, conventionally sexy. And that’s got to be really tough on these badass women who take the stage in the face of that double standard, and even – gasp – have the guts to make jokes about this very double standard.

There’s a paradox in the way Schumer has chosen to tackle the outrageous beauty standards of Hollywood, and it’s kind of problematic. On one hand, she calls out the industry for expecting her to be a size 0, for putting her on weight loss plans, for pushing her to develop a “late-in-life eating disorder.” On the other hand, every time Schumer talks about how fat she is, she does it in a self-deprecating fashion that shows us she actually hates her body just as much as Hollywood wants her to. The only difference is that she can make jokes about it.

I think Schumer is coming at this from the perspective of calling out Hollywood. And yeah, it’s kind of working. But this way of talking about female bodies has a much more harmful effect on the women who are looking to Schumer for inspiration than any kind of positive impact it might be having on the Hollywood standard of beauty. Every time she talks about how fat she is, Schumer forces women of all sizes, across America, to compare themselves to her (again – not fat) body. That’s causing women in the real world to hate their bodies more, not less.

Yes – part of feminism has to include the concept that as women, we have the right to say, speak, wear, and do whatever the fuck we want. And yes, a comic’s job often involves self-deprecation, self-mockery, and pushing the envelope on tough issues. But when a celebrity woman’s ‘I’ll get mine, you get yours’ feminism is being broadcast from a far-reaching platform, and when that woman’s message doesn’t break down barriers for women so much as it perpetuates stereotypes about us and reinforces systems of oppression… I take issue with that.

It’s super great to own your body and your sexuality, and it’s super important for women to speak out about that, especially when they’re privileged enough to have a public platform like the stage at the Apollo Theater and a one-hour special on HBO. But Schumer’s self-deprecating acceptance of her own body comes at the expense of other women’s right to accept and love themselves, while reinforcing Hollywood’s unattainable expectations for women’s bodies.

My issue with Schumer isn’t just about bodies. It’s hypocritical – and, I would argue, anti-feminist – to claim your own power as a ‘sex comic,’ to point out the double standards for female comics, and in the next breath to denigrate other women. Case in point: Schumer’s beauty pageant bit. Schumer paints all beauty pageant participants as vapid “corpses” with no identities of their own. Look, I’m not a huge fan of beauty pageants or swimsuit issues. But my feminist philosophy holds me to the belief that women – all women – are entitled to their own choices. That includes choices about having sex, talking about sex, and even showing off their (beautifully variously sized and shaped) bodies.

I embrace Schumer’s right as a woman to own the stage, to proudly own her body and her sexuality and the decisions she has made and continues to make for herself and her body. But if Schumer expects us to respect those decisions, she should think twice about using her platform to cut other women down for the choices they’ve made, or for perpetuating expectations that harm women’s ability to make their own choices or value themselves as individuals.

An Open Letter to Mackenzie Walker, the 16-year-old Girl Who Lost 100 Pounds

I feel you, girl. I feel you so hard. I was a fat kid, and then a fat teenager, and then a fat adult woman. I was depressed, and troubled, and bullied, and hated myself. And I, too, made a decision to lose weight. But before that, I made a decision to love myself and my body.

I feel you. I’ve been where you were. But I also need you to know one extremely important thing. Other peoples’ assumptions about your body, your attractiveness, and your health do not determine your value as a human being.

We live in a society that hates fat, hates fat people, and teaches us to hate our fat selves and our fat bodies before we are even old enough to know what “fat” really is or means. As teenagers, we are fragile and self-conscious, and we internalize the body-shaming and bullying we experience at the hands of others. As women, we are held to impossible standards of thinness.

I don’t condemn you for wanting to lose weight. I don’t hold your weight loss against you. You made a decision about your body. I understand that. Just like your body, your weight loss journey belongs to you. But as a society, we need to acknowledge and address the fact that losing weight will not fill the “never-ending void” cited in that CNN piece as your reason for weight gain. Neither will excessive exercise or disordered eating habits.

Instead, perhaps this all could have been avoided if you’d been supported by a community that sees women as more than consumable bodies. Perhaps if the adults in your life had been more focused on your emotional well-being than your physical appearance, or if that teacher had taken the time to find out what was making you feel too hopeless to participate in physical activity, you’d know that you are more than just what people see when they look at you.

I condemn our body-shaming culture, the media, and the adults in your life for teaching you that your body is your only source of value in this world. I condemn our society for making fat women feel invisible at best and monstrous at worst. I condemn a culture that praises girls and women who literally kill themselves trying to achieve a body that is seen as desirable, and ostracizes those who don’t.

You are strong. You are brave. You are (and were) beautiful and valuable and worthy of affection. I hope to goddess that as you grow into womanhood, you find a way to truly work through the trauma of growing up fat in the society that has so completely convinced you that happiness is only attainable through thinness.